Super Obama


I’m British. I’m not English, I’m British. My mother is Scottish, my father is English, I’ve got family ties to Ireland and I love the lot of it.

However, I have to admit to feeling so excited and hopeful about the new President of the United States of Britain, sorry America (Still find it hard to accept the British Empire is no more. hehe), President Barak Obama.

Now, as much as the world hates to think it, the USA is in control of a whole heap of power when it comes to the world in general. It’s their banks that have caused this world wide credit crunch, their actions in Iraq and Afghanistan (our politicians wouldn’t have had the balls to do any of that without the Americans say so) that started the war on terror. Pretty much all aspects of our lives are in some way related to the states. It pains me to say it, but there you go.

But this guy Obama, wow, I’m feeling good. I don’t think a politician, regardless of his skin, party or words, has caused this much expectation and already, he’s delivering. He’s closing Guantanimo bay, he’s looking at the states fuel usage and pollution outputs to try and help greenhouse (something the previous powers wouldn’t even ADMIT was happening!!), he’s trying to build bridges in the Islamic world and middle east (apart from just bombing them), he’s pulling troops out of Iraq to let them try and govern themselves. This man has only been in power for a week or so and has already done more in that short time than Gordon Brown has done in months.

I truly believe this could be the turning point for the world. I don’t believe he is a war monger like W, or a spineless pussy like Clinton, but a man of moral fibre and so far, things are looking promising.

The American people also seem to be behind him. Normally you hear that the country is divided politically, but not so much now. From what I see, the only divide over Obama is a race issue (which America has a cancerous problem with anyway). The backing of the American people is a vital part of world peace in my opinion. As a democratic country, if they don’t support him, he’ll be out (no mention of W’s second term please). So his speech the other day when he commented on world issues and America’s need to relate and understand them is a majorly powerful sign.

Right now, America have every right to be the proudest nation because they have a leader who seems fair, just, honestly concerned not only with internal, but worldwide politics and also a HUGE sign that they are beating the cancer of racism in their country.

From your cousin across the pond, (albeit through gritted teeth) GO U.S.A!!!!

Depression….


We hear it every day. Someone we know is saying “I’m depressed”. The problem is, we don’t know if they are or if they’re just having a bad day.

What is depression? Can we spot it in people we care for? Can we spot it in ourselves?

I’ve often wondered if I’ve ever suffered with depression. True, I’ve a very stressful job, lots going on in my life and feel a huge weight on my shoulders 9 out of 10, but then I sit back and think of all the people who have REAL troubles. Losing their homes, losing their jobs, wondering whether they can afford to pay for food or their heating bill. What are my problems compared to theirs?

I’ve been feeling really down lately. Majority of it is to do with my job. The pressure of meeting deadlines, making sure all payments are made, the accounts balance, producing report after report, it feels never ending. I don’t think this would be too bad in itself, but the company I work for make you feel that if you make a mistake, you’re going to get fired. They never outwardly say that, nor made any implications towards me following in that vein, but the way they deduct other peoples wages for serving the wrong food to guests, the insults and pressure they pile on, I’m terrified that one slip and I’m doomed. Couple that with this recession and no jobs, the pressure starts mounting.

As was pointed out to me last night by my fiancee while trying to stop the leak in my bathroom from destroying my kitchen ceiling, I always try to handle things on my own. I can’t ask for help. So does this add more pressure to me? It certainly didn’t help yesterday when I’m covered in minging water, trying to fix it while she’s downstairs screaming cause the kitchen is flooded. I know it should be easy to ask for help, but at what point does asking for help become passing the buck or being lazy? I’ve been accused of that many times and it hurts, because I’m not.

Their just always seems to be a new task or trial to over come, with never an end in sight, or if there is, it’s dangled in front and then snatched away. It’s gotten to the point now where I can’t sleep, can’t relax, always looking for an arguement and snapping at people. It’s not fair on the ones I love.

But is this depression or am I just being a tart and need to toughen up. Like I said earlier, my troubles are nothing compared to others, so can I really have the slightest incling of depression? Of course not as that would be self pity, and there’s no way I’m going to be guilt of that! Do I need help? Yeah, but what form. Medical is out of the question, relaxation techniques could be a good start, talking to someone outside of my circle (but no shrink) could help, but also prove expensive (another problem I could do without0. So I’m kind of stuck at the minute with no where to go and no end in sight.

Fantasy World or Just Need a Change?


Have you ever thought about living in a fantasy world? I’m sure you must have, even if it’s only having a super model partner, billions in the bank etc.

The lives we seem to lead these days are so dull and monotonous that it’s almost impossible for us not to sit there and secretly dream we were someone else in some other time and place.

My personal one is I’m living in a fantasy world, the kind of place you’d expect to see Conan the Barbarian live. There are wizards and heroes and evil emporers trying to take over the world etc. magic flying all over the shop, adventures being had left right and centre…… You get the picture. I’m a wandering man, with just my sword, a long walking staff (which obviously turns into a weapon in my fearsome hands), my wit and cunning and my wolf partner. I’d travel all over, from place to place, looking for adventure, rescuing the damsel in distress, taking down the wicked witch…..

Pretty far fetch, but it keeps me sane and we all need dreams (granted, most others are a little more realistic than mine!!)

Now my point is this. Is it good for us to have these fantasy worlds or is it a sign that we are not happy with our lives? Obviously, we can’t change the everyday things like taxes, bills etc. but what we can do, is the little things to try and spark up our lives!

When was the last time you did something totally spontaneous and just for fun? Woke up one morning, turned to your other half and said “let’s go horse riding!” when you’ve never been in your life.

It sounds like an extract from the film Yes Man (which I’ve never seen) but I think we all need to do a few things which will make our lives FANTASTIC:

  1. Do one thing each day which is totally crazy, spontaneous and out of charecter
  2. Wake up each morning, look in the mirror and say “Today is a good day” and keep saying to yourself over and over during the day
  3. Say hello to a random stranger on the street, spread the love. if your happiness and cheeriness rubs off on just one person, it was worth it.

I think we’d all find our fantasy worlds slipping away pretty quickly (except the one about the billions in the bank that is, can’t let go of ALL the dreams now, can we?)

Broken Neck (Nearly….)


Weekends go by so quickly. I remember as a kid, I’d go off on my bike for hours with my friends and it would seem like eternity!!

Anyway, enough of the nostalgia (for this post anyways).

Saturday morning, I roused myself for the first rugby game of this year. It had been about 4 weeks or more since I last played and I was dreading it. Felt all fat and slobby from Christmas still. Still, didn’t take me long to get into the swing of things. About ten minutes in, we have a scrum on the opposition 22 and a scissors move was called between myself and the fly-half. Ball came out nice and quick (for once) I ran a beautiful line and cut through the defence for our first score.

The game continued in this vein, with Isle of Wight never really testing our resolve. It was all going so well until about th 20th minute of the second half. I side stepped my inside centre and pushed off the fly-half, when all of a sudden I see a big fat forward come bounding towards me. I get myself low to try and duck under him, but unfortunately, I positioned myself a bit wrong. My head went straight into his gut. All I heard was this God-awful crack and the base of my head went numb.

I have to admit, I was terrified. I’ve been playing rugby for nearly 18 years now and know full well the dangers it poses, but I’ve never been that close.

I hit the deck and screamed “my neck”. The game was stopped and, luckily for me, our two new physio’s came bounding over. In the mean time, I wiggled my fingers and toes and relieved myself with the knowledge I wasn’t paralysed. A minute or two of massage on my neck and a hand from a couple of the boys, I was on the touchline. Stiff, but none the worse for wear.

I feel a bit of a pussy looking back on how I screamed, but then again, I had thought for an instance I had broke my neck. No one took the piss in the bar, so I couldn’t have been that bad.

Still stiff today, but it’s loosening. Sure a good run out Saturday will loosen it some more!! (c:

Family’s & Marriages


I’m due to get married in April. Everythings going smoothly, things all being done well ahead of time blah blah blah

The guest list has been sorted for ages and invites all sent out. We’ve invited pretty much only family as I have a large family (split in two due to divorce, with parents who hate each other!!). We have invited some close friends.

One of these friends is my older brothers best friend. He’s been like a brother to me all these years, any troubles, I could go to him etc. He’s asked if he could bring his girlfriend (I didn’t know he had one) and he’s happy to pay for her (as he knows our money is tight) I agreed and thats pissed my other half off in a big way!! I’ve gone behind her back, she said we had to finalise who was coming first etc. due to table numbers. So now she’s got the hump with me.

To make matters worse, my dad has called me a few times asking if his wife’s son could bring his girlfriend. Now, you may see this as double standards, but I told him I’d have to wait and see what the numbers were etc as I couldn’t afford more people.  I would have given in in the end and said fine (as with the above case) but I’ve never met this girl and I don’t like being bullied into something I don’t want to do!!

So my dad calls me this morning asking if she can come if they pay for her. (Remember how furious my other half is for me saying yes already) So I tell him they have to wait until everyone has return their rsvp and we know table numbers etc. He tells me if she can’t come, then the wife’s son won’t come either, thus meaning my nan and aunt can’t come as he’s supposed to bring them (I live in Southampton and they live in London). Nothing like being blackmailed by your father at 7.30am to start your day!

So now I’m stuck. On the one hand, I really want my nan and aunt to see me get married but on the other hand, I refuse to be blackmailed by these pieces of shit! Couple that with my girlfriend wanting to cut my heart out and feed it to me, I’m having a perfect start to my day.

Now comes the stress of work and year end!!

So Annoyed..


I’m So annoyed

I’ve been training in San Da (which is Chinese kickboxing, similar to Muay Thai, but you don’t use knees or elbows, but you can use wrestling throws) for about 3-4 months now and I’m really enjoying it. I can feel I’m getting better, probably not as quickly as I would hope, but it’s a work in progress.

I’m currently training for the chance to go to a tournament in April with the VERY slim chance of being picked for the British team (not that I’m ANYWHERE near good enough for that!!). I’ve told my work this since I started it and they’ve supported me, or at least sounded like they did.

Because of the importance of this tournament, my coach is saying I need to train more (which is a given). Unfortunately, training starts at 6 and I finish work at 6.

So I asked my boss if I could start 30 minutes earlier and leave 30 minutes earlier. They said no……. How unfair!! Granted, I’ve got a lot of work on, but still, it’s my time and it’s not as though I’m asking for time off, just a little shuffle of my hours. But thats just typical of my head office (as I’m sure you’ll find out)

I guess I’ll have to speak to my coach and see what he says. I’m really disappointed though as I’m really enjoying it. Hopefully he’ll still let me compete.

There goes my cherry


Well, it’s taken me a while, but I’ve finally start my blog (and hopefully I’ll keep it updated). For ages now I’ve heard this, that and the other about blogs and how wonderful they are, so here’s mine.

It’ll mostly be filled with stuff I’m doing, thinking, feeling and planning. I’ll stick in a few stories, pictures and stuff like that and hopefully, you’ll be entertained. If not…. Pah, never mind.