Drunken Girls


For those of you that follow my twitter, I’ve been out with the boys tonight. Last night of session with the rugby boys before my baby arrives.

Now I hate to blow my own trumpet, but I can handle my booze. It’s midnight, I’ve got my captain off his face due to a little game we played, but I’m fine. I’m currently waiting for a taxi and watching people.

Now watching people is a past time of mine, but I’ve never really watched drunk girls when I’ve been sober(ish). Its really quite embarrassing. These young girls are dressed up with everything hanging out and they can hardly walk!!

I’ve just seen one girl CARRYING her friend down the road. What must their parents think?!? This may sound really cruel, but I can see how some girls get attacked and things.

God, I’m sounding REALLY old now…..

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Friday Brain Teaser – The Answer


So last week, I set the following brain teaser:

You have a basket containing 5 apples. You are looking after 5 children. Each child must be given 1 whole apple.How can you give each child an apple and leave 1 apple in the basket?

The answer is as follows:

You give four children an apple each, this leaves one child without an apple. Leave the final apple in the basket and give the 5th child the basket. Therefore, each child has an apple but one apple is left in the basket.

Simples……..

SS Solider Finally Convictedof Murder


I have always been of the opinion that if you do something wrong, you must be punished for it. only would you send this man to prison for life:

His name is Heinrich Boere and he was a member of the SS during the war. He has recently been found guilty of three murders in 1944. He was initially sentenced to death in 1949, albeit the trial occurred without him present. In the 1980’s, a German court ruled this to be an illegal trial as he wasn’t present. Lots of legal wrangling later, he’s finally been tried and found guilty.

He claims that he had no choice but to kill the 3 men (one a bicycle seller, one who helped Jews go into hiding and one a resistance fighter), or be shot himself by his Nazi superiors. The court did not buy this and he was found guilty.

When I first saw his picture, for a moment I felt sorry for him. An 88-year-old man being dragged through legal proceedings for something that happened over 65 years ago. He looks like someone’s kindly old granddad.

But then I remembered. I remembered every school history lesson. I remembered everything I learned about fascism and Nazism. I remembered every stupid, insane comments made by 1001 different racist b*****ds. I remembered every story I had ever heard about the treatment of people by the SS. I remembered learning about the Nazi war machine trampling Europe and it’s people, killing with little or no regard, invading, controlling, exterminating people like rats. How can I feel sorry for this man?

He claims he had no choice but to kill these men. Maybe so. I’m sure SS soldiers were not above the fanatical whims of their officers. But he DID have a choice about signing up for them in the first place. He DID have a choice about choosing to live his life according to Nazi belief’s.

He has been sentenced to Life In Prison for his crimes. It still remains unclear if he will serve his time, but I hope that he does. We have people on the run still for Nazi war crimes and also on the run for crimes during the Bosnian war. If we don’t punish these people, what message does that send to others? Time should be no factor where Justice is concerned.

Me and Anthropology


One of my favourite television programmes is Tribe. It’s about this guy, Bruce Parry, and he goes off and lives with all these different tribes around the world, learning their cultures, living their lives and generally trying, for a very small time period, to become one of the Trieb. If you’ve read my piece on Hunter-Gathers, you will know this is a dream of mine.

So I thought I’d do a bit of investigating. Turns out anthropology is the subject that covers all this sort of thing (study of people, cultures etc) and would be the way forward for me to chase after this aspect of my dream. And, lo and behold, the university of Southampton (my home city) actually runs this course!!! Perfect!!!

Until I read further.

I’d like to think I was naive in thinking that it would be easy to sign up, study and fulfill a dream. But I think I was just deluding myself. Hoping beyond hope that it would say

X amount of A-Levels needed EXCEPT for Dan Wade who, obviously, wants this soooooo much he can join the course with just his accounting background and get some corporate backing for the adventures of a lifetime

Silly me………………….

Of course, like any uni course, certain entry criteria are needed. This one needs 3 A-levels graded ABB and a C in GCSE maths. I got the maths but no A-levels (through choice I may add). It’s not exactly a huge entry level. If I had stayed at college and not got bored, I would easily have hit this target. The knowledge of this frustrates me even more. Fingertips away from this pot of gold and my impatience and lack of attention scupper the whole thing.

So it looks like my dream is being put on hold a little longer. My travelling dream WILL come true, just another road to it seems to have been blocked. For now……..

Friday Brain Teaser


I’ve decided to do a weekly brain teaser. These will be riddles, questions, anything to get the old grey matter going. Hopefully you’ll enjoy them and find them challenging. If not……… Tell me and I’ll stop bothering! Answers will be published the following week.

So here’s the first one:

You have a basket containing 5 apples. You are looking after 5 children. Each child must be given 1 whole apple.

How can you give each child an apple and leave 1 apple in the basket?

 

Please leave a comment saying if you have an answer, but please do not post your answers!

Living the Quiet Life


I’ve lived in cities all my life (with the exception of a country pub my mum and dad ran when I was 3) and I’ve always enjoyed the hussle and bussle of life and people and the activities one can do in a city. But I’m increasingly finding myself drawn to the quiet village life and reading this article made me want to write about it.

I’d love to live either in the middle of a farming village (like Emmerdale) surrounded by moors and forests or a fishing village which is miles from anywhere (somewhere in Devon or Cornwall would be cool). My house would be nothing flash, an old stone-walled house, with bare timber inside and an open fire-place. The kitchen would be the biggest room in the house so all the family could get round the table and eat.

The social centre of the village would be the pub. Not for huge drinking sessions (although the weekly lock-in would be obligatory and all would attend) but a place where all the locals gather together to be friendly, chat about life and their health ailments and generally keep the close-knit village life going strong.

There would be summer festivals on the village green where the local schools put on shows, nativity and carol services at Christmas for all the village to come and sing (even though none of them believe in God or attend church) and everyone would support the local sports team (cricket in the summer, rugby/football in the winter).

To be honest, I don’t think I’ll ever leave the city. Not through choice, but I just don’t think my life will take me in that direction. Possibly when I retire, but then I have the hurdle of convincing the wife it’s a good idea!!!

Everyone needs a Master


I looked on Facebook the other night and my friend’s status was a legendary quote:

Nuk Soo Kow!

Of course, it could only mean that he was watching the movie Kickboxer with the immortal Jean-Claude Van Damme. Straight away, I changed the channel so I too could watch this 80’s classic.

For those of you who have not sampled this cinematic delight, it goes along the typical 80’s martial art line of: white man who thinks he’s hard as coffin nails gets slapped silly by ethnic nutter. Family member wants revenge so seeks the aid of little old man (who is a social recluse) to teach them the secret ways of martial arts so revenge can be had. Final show down always consists of a bloody battle with our hero the victor and little old man standing in the corner smiling and nodding knowingly.

You can’t help but love these films! I’ve watched this one, Karate Kid (1, 2, 3 and 4!) and many others and the one thing running through them all is the little old master who transforms the hero from being a useless whelp to the big strong, ass kicking hero. Wouldn’t we all love one of these!

Xian Chow took a lowly karateka in Jean-Claude and trained him in the ancient art of Muay Thai (although the training they did looked suspiciously like kata which, of course, doesn’t appear in Muay Thai. Not to my knowledge in any case) and gave him the ability to extract his revenge against the hardcore Tong Po!

I’m sure this man needs no introduction. Which child of the 80’s wouldn’t want Mr. Miyagi as their friend and mentor. Daniel LaRusso turns up with no friends and instantly gets bullied (granted he has a dodgy hair-do and deserves it for this reason alone). Then out of no where, the mysterious and masterful Mr. Miyagi comes in, saves the day, teaches him kick-ass karate and mentors him in becoming a man. Daniel gets the girl, beats the bully and becomes a town hero all thanks to the little old man.

Now, who can honestly say they DON’T want