Nice To Know You’re Loved

I’ve fallen a bit behind lately on the latest series of Doctor Who (thank God for sky plus!!) So last night I sat down to try and catch up. I watched the episode with Vincent Van Gogh. As ever, a great episode with inventive ideas and doesn’t leave the viewer feeling childish.

The final scene however had me in tears (nearly anyway, I had to man up in front of the wife). As we all know, Van Gogh was a troubled man with a history of mental illness eventually leading to his suicide (and ear incident). The Doctor and Amy knew this and tried to give him some hope by bringing him to the future to see his paintings in the Musée d’Orsay. Here, he heard just what people thought about his work.

And it got me thinking, wouldn’t you just love to know that someone, somewhere thought you were amazing. We all hear from our parents, spouses, children that they love us and this is fantastic, but to hear it in a different aspect would make you soar.

To put a bit of a morbid approach on it, I’ve often thought what would people say about me at my funeral. Would a lot of people turn up? How many would cry hysterically into their tissues? What words would people use to describe me? You find people don’t tell you what they really think about you when you’re around. To me, when I hear what someone has been saying about me, it really makes me feel special.

I’ve probably not explained myself very well today, but watch the Youtube clip from Doctor Who and you’ll understand what I mean.

Can Religion and Science Co-Exist?

I’m having a running discussion today with a friend of mine regarding the relationship between God (in this discussion, Christian God) and Science. She is an avid Jehovah’s Witness, I am a Catholic although DEFINITELY more of a scientist than a religious believer.

Let me clarify our points of view:

She believe whole heartedly in the Bible, what it says and the teachings of her faith (which I truly admire, as I’ve said before). As such, she finds the idea of, for example, evolution to be something bordering offensive. God created man in His own image, so the idea we come from monkeys………..

I, on the other hand, believe completely in the theory of evolution (keeping with the same example). But I also believe in God. What I don’t believe in are the Bible stories of the likes of Adam & Eve etc. I believe God did create everything, but more along the lines of he started the ball rolling and left it to grow as it rolled.

For me, I can’t believe that the world was created in 7 days exactly how the Bible tells us. If there weren’t HUGE scientific evidence to the contrary proving our world is over 4 billion years old. The Bible tells us it’s around 6500 years old (circa 4500bc). We have evidence of the human race being around before that……

But I also have difficulty with science. Lets look at the big bang. Stephen Hawking is a total genius and I truly admire this man. His theories are sound, but there are holes. For example, what caused the big bang and what was there before it? How can the universe come from nothing? My answer here is God.

Then we have the PERFECT chain of events that lead to our existence. Lets forgo the big bang. It happened. But from that we have the fact that matter and anti-matter did NOT wipe each other out. Enough survived to create the universe (point 1). Then the fact that EXACTLY the right amount of elements formed together to create our sun (point 2). Then EXACTLY the right amount of material created our planet (point 3). Then the collision between early forming Earth and Theia happened at EXACTLY the right angle to create our moon (which I discovered last night, courtesy of Nat Geo, performs a HUGE part in our survival and overall existence(point 4)) and leave EXACTLY the right amount of iron to form our core and create our magnetic field (essential in our survival from solar radiation (point 5)).

I could continue on about the gravity needed to keep our atmosphere, then move on to the fluke that created the first life form…….. Could be here for a long, long time, but you get my point. Stephen Hawking himself said nothing in this universe is perfect, but this chain is………. un-naturally perfect. This I attest to God.

I believe God started it all. He caused the big bang and planned everything, but I believe he put everything in place and let it go….. Line those dominoes up, give the first one a flick and watch them all fall into place.

But I believe science is our way of understanding this and coming to terms with it all. No replacing God, not playing Him, but understanding him. If He didn’t intend us to learn and develop our intelligence, why give us free will and the ability to learn?

Luckily, my friend and I can agree to disagree, although she’s sending me some info which I’m happily going to read. Who knows, maybe it’ll change my mind 🙂

I Need Anger Management

I have a short temper.

There it is, in black and White. It’s something I’ve always had (along with no patience) and something I guess I’ll always have. It’s never been an issue before. Usually I can surpress my rage and cool off. I’ve never lost control. Yet.

And that’s my concern. Since my daughter’s arrived, I’ve been getting very angry when she crys. This is down to the fact I can’t help her. If I’ve changed her and burped her, I can’t do anything else (we’re breast feeding). So I feel helpless and this frustrates me and boils my anger so much! I’m truly concerned that one day I may lose it.

What riles me even more, is I’m so ashamed at getting angry. I know she isn’t trying to upset me or wind me up and my poor wife has to deal with a crying 6 week old and a husband on the edge. I’m a weak man and need help.

I’ve looked around on my local councils website and can only find help for under 25’s. How pants is that?!?!? So I’ve emailed the Samaritans. If you’re interested, I’ll let you know how it goes.