Photo’s from Berlin


If you are a regular reader of my blog (and I do hope so of you out there would be), you’ll know I was married last year and ventured off to Berlin for my stag weekend. There were photos taken on this weekend and, after a long censoring process so as not to reveal any secrets of the Stag (as per Law of the Stag article 1) I’ve finally managed to get some up here.

Apologies for the quality of some of them as they were on camera phones and being handled by EXTREMELY drunken bums:

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Berlin Stag Weekend


What a weekend!! Some serious drinking was involved, quite a bit of cash got flashed about and spent, several calls on the porcelein phone were made and one cracking weekend was had!!

The merryment started Thursday evening. Our flight was at 6am on the Friday, so beer was being drunk on the Thursday night. Needless to say, I had 1 hours sleep before the taxi arrived to take us to Stanstead. This was fine as on the way, we had a crate of Tiger beer to sup. We stopped to collect my brother and best-man and continued on the journey. We were all given the obligatory Hats and Sunglasses to accompany our suits, however the hats were made of plastic and were so uncomfortable!!

We landed in Berlin early doors and proceeded to drink. We marched up to the Brandenburg gate as we were told by my brother in law that all the bars were up this direction. He lied simply so he could go sight seeing!! By this point, all 9 of us were busting for the toilet. Serveral went to various shops and cafe’s, but 4 of us decided to use a public toilet cubicle. We only had 1 Eruo between us. So we crossed swords…… Someone lent against the door button…..  Two little old lady’s had the shock of their lives as 4 English drunken bums were crossing swords in front of them……..

The rest of the night passed in a drunken blur. To our astonishment, there were “lady’s of the night” everywhere!! Very attractive they were too. 50 euros for quicky in the park, 80 euros for comfortable fuck in their flat and one even suggested she would shit on us!! My best man spent most of the night outside one of the bars talking to one of the lady’s. This pisssed her off as he wasn’t actually going to pay, but felt big that he was “chatting up” a prostitute. He gave up in the end when she threatened to slit his throat if he didn’t leave her alone….. We called it a night pretty much after this (26 hours straight on the lash will make you tired). At some point during the night, my mum’s husband managed to find himself out the front of the hotel in nothing but his underpants….. No more questions were asked…..

Following morning half of us were up bright and breezy at about 8.30 am and went to a Mexican restaurant for breakfast. The only reason we stopped here was because we saw they did cooked breakfasts and tequila was about the only thing that would save us! We sat there in the cooking sun for  the next 9 hours and proceeded to drink them out of Gold Tequila, pick up several people who decided to sit with us and drink, have some guy offer to sell us his daughter (only a joke of course) and spend over 600 euros. During this time, I was dressed in a stripey outfit ala convict style with handcuffs.

We decided to move on after this and walked off in, what we thought, was the general direction of the bars we had found the previous night. We passed the Holocaust memorial (dressed how I was didn’t seem evry appropriate!), Bugatti show room (drooling over the Veyron) and after an hours walk, found the bars.

Again, the night passed in a drunken blur. My dad ended up asleep in a chair at some restaurant by about 7, ended up going home early doors. We went to several bars/clubs/drinking establishments before the beer scooter came to collect us. We went back to the hotel, where we had a few nightcaps before turning in.

The flight home was awful. I was throwing up left right and centre and Ryanair doesn’t believe in spacious toilet facilities. As we landed, I had to make a mad dash for the toilet. Most people could see I was in trouble and graciously moved out of my way. Except one German woman who obviously wanted to be first of the plane. So I proceeded to hold my hand over my mouth, retch a few times and then breath on her. She soon moved!

All in all, it was a cracking weekend. More stories and events took place, but as my previous post explains: WHAT GOES ON STAG, STAYS ON STAG

Law of the Stag


As some of you may be aware, I’m getting married in little over 3 weeks. The nerves haven’t kicked in yet, but I’m sure they will as the reality of it all set’s in.

How ever, this does mean  get to have (another) stag do. Only this time, I’m extending it to a weekend and relocating the party out of Blighty…….. and to Berlin!

Now every time I say this to people, they always ask: Why Berlin? To which I reply: Why not? For a start, can you argue with German beer in those huge glass tankards of theirs served by buxom serving wench’s? Or the fact that the night life in Berlin is supposed to be out of this world with techno clubs on every corner (not that techno is my bag, but always looks like a laugh on the tele). Either way, I have this thing about going to different locations and different cultures. Every stag nowadays goes to Prague or Barcelona or Ibiza. I did Bratislava a few years back for my mum’s husbands stag (which is another blog in itself involving the mafia, strippers and a gun shot hole in the hotel room!) and that was great, so I couldn’t go along those sort of lines. Berlin was almost an obvious choice.

Now I’ve promised my significant other that I wouldn’t venture near any strippers. This is going to be an awkward thing to achieve, but I will certainly try my best, as I’m not a liar. However, Law of the Stag Section 1 paragraph 1, does state:

WHAT GOES ON STAG, STAYS ON STAG

To be honest, with the group I’m going with, we’re starting the proceedings at about 3 Friday morning and won’t stop until Sunday night. We’ll probably be to pissed to make much of strippers. If any pictures make it back, I’ll post a few up here and tell some stories (if any are suitable of course!)