Terrified I’ll Be A Failure

As you know, I’m due to be a dad in about 2 weeks. I’m getting so excited at the prospect! True, I’m going to be losing the freedom to go out whenever I want, have lie in’s and chill when I get home, but it’ll be worth it every time I pick up that small baby and look into my child’s eyes.

But I’m also petrified I’m going to mess everything up.

I’ve recently started a new job and I’m loving it. The pace is just right (could do with being a bit busier) to keep me interested, the people are great and the company seems to be going in the right direction. But I’ve got a terrible feeling it’s not going to last. I e-mailed my boss yesterday asking if she was happy with me etc. etc. and I’ve had no reply as yet. I don’t think I’ve given her any reason not to be happy, but I’m so worried that at the end of my probation (another 3 months) she’ll just turn round and say “sorry, it’s not working out”. How will I support my family then? In a recession and a new baby………

To be honest, this is my main concern. Without being too bigheaded, I think I’ll be a fantastic dad. I’m not huge on babies, but I think I’ll be just fine in caring and looking after it and as it grows, I will enjoy teaching it and watching it grow and I’m much better with toddlers and children than babies.

I just hope that my child doesn’t grow up and turn round one day and think I’m a disappointment or I’ve failed them in some way. I have a kind of relationship with my dad like this (I don’t think he supported me as much as he should have during my teens) and I hope my child NEVER thinks like that. But if I lose my job and can’t provide for my family, then that is exactly what I am. A failure and disappointment to my wife and child.

The Wife’s Pregnant!

Yes, I am a man and the little guys are firing live rounds! My wife is pregnant in the first few months of trying. Pretty impressive as they say it can take up to 6 months for the pill to flush out of the system.

I have to admit, being a dad has always been my BIGGEST fear. I’ev been petrified for years. I was always under the impression I could hardly look after myself, let alone a new baby. Plus, I’m quite a selfish person. I don’t mind admitting it, but I like my own time and to be left alone, which having a baby slightly cuts down on.

Anyway, the wife has been banging on about kids for years. I agreed once we got married, we could try (thinking it would take a while!)

So once we did the test and the result came back positive, I have to admit, I was over the moon! I couldn’t believe how happy I was. Really strange feeling, being so scared, but once it happens, being so happy.

Anyway, the little ‘un is due on our first wedding anniversary. We’re not going to find out the sex, fancy having a little surprise.

The only draw back is the “morning” sickness. Well, I use the term lightly. All day moaning sickness is probably a better description!! I’m doing so much to make her comfortable, I feel like I’m going to drop! Cooking, cleaning, tidying up, running baths, making beds, all this after a horribly long day at work. I’m exhausted and all the sympathy is for her! So unfair……….

Still, be worth it when the child is 18 and can legally take the Old Man to the pub for a few bevvies.