Smoking Will Stunt Your Growth


I’m slacking on my current affairs!  Apparently, the toddler who smokes in Indonesia has given up thanks to a 30 day rehab programme. Bless, I’m glad the authorities in Indonesia help the people quit (obviously do bugger all to stop them starting in the first place)

A 2 YEAR OLD SMOKING!!!!!! I missed out on this one. Apparently, ITN broke the news back in May. How could I have missed this vital piece of journalism?! And how did they find out about this kid?

I’d like to say this was a set-up by the parents to get some well needed cash, but watching how the tubby piece of lard handles his smokes you can tell he’s obviously used to handling them. I’m a reformed smoker, but even in my day, I couldn’t flip my fag like a majorette baton like he is. Very impressive. Bet mummy and daddy are so proud of their little Chunk. For his next trick, he’ll do the “Truffle Shuffle”

But what are his parents thinking of? Surely in this day and age, even in remote villages in Indonesia, people know the health risks of smoking for adults, let alone 2 year old boys. I understand money is a desperate commodity for these people and they will do pretty much ANYTHING to get it, but can’t they see beyond that fact and look at what they are doing to their son? He’s hardly starving is he!!! Stop feeding the little porker and you might save a few rupiah people.

Honeymoon in Bali – Pt 1


So, my honeymoond estination was the island paradise of Bali! Carla didn’t have a clue where we were going until my speech at the wedding. I had it planned to unveil in huge grandeur. It was going so well, I handed over the piece of paper saying “Bali”…… She said in an excited voice “Bail……. Where’s Bali?” My heart sank.

Never mind. Once I showed her pictures on my Iphone at the airport and we arrived, she loved it.

Flight was good. Change at Kuala Lumpur. We arrived about midday local time and were collected by the travel agent driver. I’d booked us into this lush hotel, top suite etc. What I hadn’t banked on was that it was 5* and they would do everything for us! They took the suitcases, were making drinks, cold towels to freshen up, everything but wiping my arse! I’m not a person who lets people do this and I felt incredibly uncomfortable because I didn’t want them thinking I was a fat, slobby, stuck up prick.

Anyhoo, the hotel staff were lovely and so friendly, as were pretty much the entire population of the island! As it was our honeymoon, we went into our fantastic room to find petals on the bed in the shape of a heart and petals in our bath. The wife certainly appreciated that touch!

Our first day was spent trying to get over the jetlag and relaxing poolside. On our second day, we ventured a little further out. Now the hotel where we were staying was within a huge complex of other hotels. But about a 5 minute walk was the local village, with restaurants and shops (much cheaper than in the complex) So we went for a stroll.  This was what I liked to do. Leave the tourist part behind and go and try to experience local Bali.

Anyway, we basically got lost. We were walking for miles, past all the houses and what appeared to be local shops (some no more than garages). more than a few times we’d pass a group of men sat around on a wall or in a door way, few teeth missing, tattoo’s, very rough looking….. The wife got very scared. She needn’t have. Every time we walked past, these same scary men turned and gave a huge smile and all said hello in the friendliest many. It turned what could have been a long, worrying walk into a great afternoon. The chickens on the path were probably the most worrying thing (apart from the drivers and the motor bikes going the wrong way and often than not on the paths).

Still, that was our first day in Nusa Dua, Bali. So as not to drag it out, I’ll post a few other stories and bits in different posts, otherwise this will be fucking massive!